Monday, July 18, 2011

Another Great Adventure

Someone once defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. I think it was Ghandi or someone like that. Either way, believe you me…there’s a lot of truth to it. Awhile ago, I took the kids to Six Flags Great Adventure. Apparently, I haven’t learned a damn thing being a parent. Because I seem to keep taking the kids back to these places.  I think it's pretty clear who the insane one is.

It’s me, in case you hadn’t figured it out…

does anyone else find this cat creepy?

I hadn’t been to Great Adventure in at least 20 years. Well, to be honest, I haven’t been anywhere in about 20 years. But, that’s a story for my therapist. Anyway…wow! What a great time! I can see why they call it Great Adventure. It’s non-stop adventuring. There are two things you need to be aware of when you take this great adventure. Bring lots of money. And leave your eyeballs at home. Unless you like your advertisements every five feet. Cause, instead of this place being a “coaster park”, it really should be an “advertisement park”.

Remember that scene in Minority Report, where Tom Cruise gets that eyeball replacement surgery? If I would’ve known what I was in for, I might’ve opted for the same thing. Only, let’s leave the replacement eyeballs on the tray, ok? I won’t be needing them for the next 12+ hours.


this is the only way to handle Great Adventure

And I’m not talking that synergic Disney type advertising, where you’re looking at an advertisement, know you’re looking at an advertisement, but they make it feel good. Six Flags? Oh…it’s dry. And there’s no steak dinner involved, either. They just put that shit out there. Every god damn place you turn. But, at least Six Flags doesn’t pretend it’s anything then what it is…

Think I’m kidding? I ain’t. Mini billboards for Skittles? Check. LCD TVs constantly running commercials for movies? Check. Coke? Check. Listen…if the choice of beverage at Great Adventure is Coke, and all they sell is Coke products…do they have to advertise in the park, too? Isn’t’ that like shooting fish in a barrel? Or clubbing baby seals?

taste the rainbow

I wonder if anyone ever tried to smuggle a Pepsi product into the park. I wonder what happens if you get caught. Do they take you to security? Strip search you, then make you drink Coke products, naked, until the park closes?


we have a code 15. She’s got pepsi products. Bring her in!

I mean, look, I’m as desensitized to advertising as the next dude, but is it necessary to have ads in place of the mirrors in the bathrooms? WTF is that all about? Does Six Flags feel I might’ve missed one of their discreetly placed ads somewhere in the park? And they figure...Hey. Jman might not know that we sell Coke here. Lets take down the mirrors in the bathrooms. Cause...who uses them? And put up a friendly reminders that he can get a Coke any where in the park. I’m sure he’d appreciate that over looking at his sweaty mug every day of the week.

yea...not even this clever. At least there’s a mirror here. When I say no mirror, I mirror!!!

Next time...I’ll talk about the whole self-administered money plundering system they’ve got going on…

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