Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Bacteria Causing 'Black Death' Likely Extinct, Study Finds

“The bacteria that caused the Black Death, which wiped out millions in mid-14th century Europe, may be extinct, according to a new study.

Hoping to resolve some controversy regarding the cause of the Black Death, researchers examined more than 100 samples taken from bodies buried in London during that time.
"The Black Death was caused by the bacterium Yersinia pestis — the one responsible for current plague outbreaks. This settles the controversy surrounding the causative agent. Although we cannot rule out, at this stage, that there was another co-circulating strain," said study author Hendrik Poinar, a biological anthropologist at McMaster University in Ontario.

However, the genetic sequence of the bacteria in the London bodies differed from the sequences of modern versions of Y. pestis, suggesting that the strain responsible for the Black Death is likely extinct, the researchers said…”

Yea…ok.  WTF?!?!?  Tell me this ain’t tempting fate!?  When are these researchers/scienticians going to learn?  I swear all’s they want to do is destroy mankind.  They either want to bring back dinosaurs, or tell aliens we’re here so they can take over our planet.  I mean…what is wrong with these guys?

Talk about jinxing us.  Isn’t this the kind of thing that you whisper amongst yourself? 

“Hey scientician #2, I think the bacteria that caused Black Death is extinct.  What do you think?”

“Are you nuts, scientician #1?  Are you trying to get us all dead?  You can’t say that shit out loud.    You’ll fuck us all.  Whisper that shit, you idiot.  Whisper!”

Not only is Black Death probably gonna come back, but you wait. It’ll be 75 times stronger than it was. The media will call it Super Black Death or something. And the second you’re in a 75 ft range of someone infected, you’ll get it. Now that I consider all this…maybe this will be the start of the zombie apocalypse that everyone is talking about anymore. Yea…that’s it. The Super Black Death will probably turn us all into mindless, brain eating zombies. And, hey, if you’re one of the lucky ones who’s got the genetic make-up to resist the initial airborne outbreak, just remember…double tap.

I guess mankind will get the last laugh, though.  When those aliens show up to take our water/trees/cows/etc they’ll be greeted by a planet full of zombies.  Looking to chow down on their delicious alien brains.

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