Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Don't you just hate stepping on them?

Remember when I posted here about Sideshow Collectibles and their cursed, expensive, wonderful toys?  Well, the Pope left a comment on the FB page about Lego, and their cursed, expensive, wonderful toys.  Which totally took the wind out of my sails, cause I was going to mention Lego in a follow up to Sideshow.  Now, the Pope thinks he’s gonna get all the credit for giving me the idea about Lego.  And he’ll probably want a percentage of the total revenues for the month.  And if that’s the case…I have one thing to tell the Pope.  Even 75% of zero is still zero!  So nuts to you!


The Pope is right, though.  Lego is just as bad as Sideshow with their price points.  Maybe even worse.  Yes.  Definitely worse.  Why? Cause they keep coming out with all these cool sets.  And the sets aren’t cheap.  Seriously.  How the hell are you supposed to own all that coolness?  Especially  when you’ve  two sons who non-stop say “I want that.  I want that.  I want that.” Even before you get to the Lego aisle at Target?  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT, LEGO???
                                               death star $399
I know.  I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  What’s wrong with you?  How old are you anyway?  Legos are for kids.  Grow up.  First of all…if that’s what you’re thinking, then go to hell. Secondly…you think some stupid kid made this:

I think not.  Kids are stupid.  An adult made that.  And saying that Legos are a kids’ toy is like telling Alex Rodriguez he’s playing a kids’ game.  He may very well be, but he’s making a shitload of money playing that kids’ game.  And scoring the likes of Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz and Madonna all the while.  Now, I’m fairly certain the closest the dude that made that Lego sculpture has gotten to Madonna are those risqué photos of her from the early 80’s (Yea, yea, yea…I’m sure I have those pics somewhere on my hard drive.  And don’t even pretend that you don’t either.  Perv.), but you get my point.
                                                                           super star destroyer $399

Besides, what’s not to like about Lego?  Nothing!  Well that’s not entirely true, either.  There’s the times when you step on one of those fuckers.  In the middle of the night.  Then there’s a whole lot not to like about them.  Oh…that’ll definitely anger up the blood.  Or when you try to organize them for your boys who all the sudden want to put a set together they got three years ago.  Yea…good luck finding that one piece in those three 5 gallon buckets of Legos.  Let me know how you make out with that Jethro.  In the meantime, I’ll be looking for those Madonna pics. 
                                                                         fire house $149
And look, if you think me and the Pope are the only quasi-adults who like Lego, then you are sadly mistaken.  Again.  Cause look, even scienticians like them.  I can even imagine the retail value of those three mini figures.  I just hope to god Jethro doesn’t see those.  Then I’ll never hear the end of it.

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