Monday, November 28, 2011

No shirt, no shoes? You'll learn. PT1

I swear my boys are the modern day Tom and Huck.  They run around constantly with no shirt, no shoes, no friggin worries. I'm telling you, if they could, they'd work without pants as well.  God only knows what's stopping them from doing it.  There must be some modicum of society somewhere in those Freudian Ids that call themselves my sons.

                                Yea…they look just like these two morons.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

I, For One, Welcome Our New Alien Overlords

“The U.S. government yesterday denied ever having had contact with alien life forms.
The White House insisted there was no evidence extra-terrestrials have visited Earth or made any manner of contact.
The denial is an official response to two petitions asking for confirmation that alien encounters have taken place.
‘Thank you for signing the petition asking the Obama administration to acknowledge an extra-terrestrial presence here on Earth,’ said Phil Larson, who works on space policy and communications at the White House.”
Yea, yea, yea.  Okokokokokok.  Now look, I’m not saying aliens exist.  I really don’t know.  Until I’m abducted, and hopefully not anal probed, then the jury will be out for your friendly neighborhood Jman about alien existence.  But, do I love a good conspiracy theory?  Hell yea!  Do I love a bad conspiracy theory even more?  Double hell yea!  Why?  I couldn’t tell you.  Maybe it’s because the one thing I do believe is that the truth usually lies somewhere between fact and fiction.  Truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder (yea, I invented that.  God damn poetry in motion, if you ask me.  Tell your friends.  Then tell them to follow me on twitter @thefadderly. Then tell them to start coughing up some cash.  Fadderly wants a new macbook).

Friday, November 18, 2011

Planet of the Jakes: "S'up Denise?" PT2

Part one…here.  Nowhere else.  Here.  Not there.  Here.  Got it?  Good.
I followed Jakob out of the house.  “Hang on a sec.”  I said, stopping in the garage.  I had a feeling a couple of tools might be a good idea to bring along.  I grabbed a few wrenches, along with whatever else I could get my hands on.  Oh, and some extra patience.  Cause, your friendly neighborhood Jman isn’t known for being much of a “fixer”.  Just ask my ol’ man.  On second thought, don’t.  But, what I lack in fixing skills, I sure make up in cursing.

“C’mon, dad!”  Jakob said, waving me on.  “Hurry.”
“Ok!”  God damn.  This had better be good.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Do Me a Solid, Don't...see these movies.

X-men: First Class

Admittedly, I’m a fan of superheroes.  Yea, that’s right.  I’m 40ish years old.  And a good superhero story still does it for me.  I cry like the little bitch I am when the bad guy is putting the hero down. And, likewise, screaming for joy when said hero gives said bad guy a root canal (through his ass).  What can I say?  I have the emotional capacity of a 10 year old.  Are you kidding me?  I can’t even watch wrestling, I get so emotionally involved.  And, yea, I know that the outcomes are scripted.  What do you want from me?  I already admitted I was an emotional cripple.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Planet of the Jakes: "S'up Denise?" PT1

I was working hard on an article (read:  trolling the internets pretty much doing everything but working hard on an article) in my office (read:  bedroom), when there was a knock on the door.  “Daaaaaaaaaad?”  A voice called out from the hallway.
I rolled my eyes.  Can’t they see I’m working here?  Well, maybe they could if the door was open.  But, that wouldn’t have stopped them anyway.  What’s a brother gotta do to get a seconds worth of peace around here?  Do I gotta start locking myself in the bathroom again?  “Yes, Jakob?” I called out.  Yea, I knew it was him.  You can call it parent's intuition.  Either that or I recognized the voice.  Whichever.
“Can I come in?” 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Ever Hear the One about the Deer and the Snake?

“An adult deer was found intact inside a huge Burmese python Thursday, after the snake was captured and killed in the Everglades.
Contractors for the South Florida Water Management District encountered the python on a tree island in western Miami-Dade County, according to the district. It was killed with a shotgun blast.”

Friday, November 4, 2011

Repost: Book from my kids’ room: The Monster at the End of this book.

I know.  I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  Repost?!?!?  Already?!?!?  WTF?!?!?  Someone’s on the path to not writing anymore.  First of all, if that’s what you’re thinking…then get your free content elsewhere, k?  Secondly…although it may look like I’m cherry picking off past success here, I’m not.  It took a certain amount of preparation to get this repost up to snuff.  Fix broken links (no free loadin interns working here), edit the post (Whew!  Someone had some anger issues way back when), etc.  Why put the effort in for an old post?  Because it’s funny as shit, that’s why.  So, without further ado, buckle yourself down in the wayback machine.  We’re heading back in time.  The year was 2005.  George W was inaugurated into his 2nd term of screwing up our country.  Live 8 totally blasphemed it’s 20 year old predecessor, Live Aid, with unadulterated marketing/merchandising/whoring spectacle in the guise of ending poverty and Fadderly was an angry, not so young man writing as the Juice…

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Don't Listen to Me: Triple Double Redux

A bit ago, I reviewed the new Oreo Triple Doubles (which I just conveniently hyperlinked for you).  Well, lo and behold, while on my quad weekly trip to Walmart, yours truly stumbled across these beauties: