Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Song(s) of the Immediate Future: Xmas edition

With all the Christmas music on the radio, I figured it was a good time for me to pile on the Christmas insanity bandwagon and trot out the ol’ “Song of the Immediate Future.”  The thing is, I really couldn’t single out just one Christmas song.  Much to my chagrin surprise, there were actually a few Christmas songs that I liked.  I know.  I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking: “I bet at least one song involves Justin Beiber.”  How bout this…go cram it with walnuts, if that’s what you’re thinking!  Do I look like a love starved school girl?  Don’t answer that.  You know, before this turns any uglier, how‘s about we get right to the songs?

“Christmas Wrappings” – the Waitresses.  For me, Christmastime doesn’t officially begin until I hear “Christmas Wrappings”.  You gotta admit, it tells a cute story.  And honestly, is there anything better than a happy ending?

“Grinch” – Whirling Dervishes.  I was up in the air which version to include on this list.  Yea, the Boris Karloff version is the classic.  But…I think the Whirling Dervishes version is a bit more…snappier.  It’s got some pep, some modern sensibilities.  Whatever the hell that means.  I think that it ends on “the three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:  Stink. Stank. Stunk.” makes all the difference in the world.

“Mele Kalikimaka” – Bing Crosby.  I can’t even pronounce the song’s name.  And unless you’re one of my many Hawaiian readers, don’t even pretend you can, either.  I think I love this song so much because of the scene in Christmas Vacation.  Where Randy Quaid’s emptying his RV’s septic tank into the sewer dressed in his wife’s robe.  Classic!  “That there’s an RV, Clark.”

“Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You” – Billy Squier.  I feel bad for Billy Squier.  I really do.  Dude had it all late 70’s/early 80’s.  Until that one stupid video.  “Rock Me Tonight”.  Satin sheets?  Prancing around?  Ripping your ripped shirt off?  Are you wearing eyeliner?  WTF, Billy?!?!  WTF!?!?  Guitar gods don’t prance.  Or wear pink shirts.  Sorry.  Billy paid the price for it, though, and his career never recovered.  But, “Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You” is definitely still one of my favs to this day.

“I Wish Everyday Could be Like Christmas” – Bon Jovi.  I bought the original A Very Special Christmas way back when it was release in 87, on vinyl.  Probably one of the first records I bought.  And I totally got jipped!  Swear to god.  It had that awful “Backdoor Santa” on the original press.  I don’t know what the hell the boys in Jovi were thinking about when they recorded that song, or the title.  At some point, though, the song was switched to “I Wish Everyday Could be Like Christmas.”  Not only is “I Wish…” a better song, it kinda moves me every time I hear it.

“(This Christmas), Baby Please Come Home.” – U2.  Another song off of A Very Special Christmas.  In fact, it was this song that made me pull the trigger on the album.  Remember, this was way back in the day.  Before iTunes, torrents and even Napster.  The only way you were hearing a single is if it was played on the radio, taped on a cassette or you bought the disc.  I was a big U2 fan in the late 80’s.  And this song was the pinnacle of Christmas songs for me.  And just hearing it on the radio once in awhile wasn’t enough for your friendly neighborhood Jman.

Give Me Your Love For Christmas – Johnny Mathis.  Yea…the whole friggin CD.  I’ve got a pretty big collection of music.  Used to be close to a thousand cds.  Now were talking gigs of music.  Something like 30 odd gigs worth of music.  In all of it, though, there are very few albums that I like all the way through.  And this album isn’t one of them, either.  But, it’s close.  Basically, I put the first 7 songs on repeat.  Love it.  Especially “What Are You Doing on New Year’s Eve?”  “Maybe it’s much too early in the game.  But I thought I’d ask you just the same…”  God!  How pathetic a song!  Flippin love it!

The Sinatra Christmas Album – Frank Sinatra.  Now this IS one album I can listen to all the way through. Well, accept for “O Little Town of Bethlehem”.  Not a favorite.  I don’t fast forward it generally, but I definitely tune out.  If you had a gun to Snowflake's head and asked me to pick a favorite song off of the disc, I might still hesitate.  But…I’d probably feel bad for the dog and have to pick “The Christmas Waltz”.
And there you have it.  I gotta tell you…I’m pretty impressed with myself.  I really thought this was gonna be a two parter!  And I didn’t curse once!
Fuck!

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