Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Planet of the Jakes: Natalia laughs last.

I took Natalia and Jakob to Chick-Fil-A for dinner the other night.  I know.  I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  “So much for those family dinners you wrote about, Mr. Hypocrite! Where were Sarah and Jethro?  What kind of parent are you anyway?” 
                                                wired.com      
                              None of these in my house.  You?
If that’s what you’re thinking then nuts to you!  I’ll tell you the kind of parent I am.  I’m the kind that has no clue what’s going on with the kids, wastes money, and sits around and writes all day.  That’s the kind of parent I am!  Well, except for when I’m not, which is all the time. Maybe you should be more worried about all the vermin in your joint, than my skills as a parent, k?

Friday, January 27, 2012

Book from my kids' room: I was so Mad


I was “straightening” up the boys’ room the other day (read:  tossing shit out with my Hazmat suit on), when I came across this book.  Next to The Monster at the End of this Book, I used to read I was so Mad to the kids all the time.  I was so Mad?  They loved.  That Grover book?  Not so much.  I think the reason they loved I was so Mad, was more how I read it, rather than for the content.  Cause just like everything else, I can’t seem to leave well enough alone.  I’ve got to make it my own (read:  ruin it).

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Completely Random Photo of the Immediate Future

So…I’m at the Verizon store a few weeks ago signing the next two years of my life away to “own” the gloriousness that is iPhone 4s (and, yes, like iPad and iPad2 before it, the iPhone 4s has made my life even more complete).
While I’m painfully watching the seconds tick by til iPhone 4s rapture hits me, I glance over and see this:

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Do Me a Solid, Don't...see Rise of the Planet of the Apes

                                                                                         photo: amazon.com

As a kid living in the 70’s, I really didn’t get into the Planet of the Apes.  I think it was just a bit before my time.  I did see the original movie as an adult, though.  It was clever enough, but I was probably just too jaded at that point to appreciate it for the movie it was back in 1968.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Planet of the Jakes: Ever Hear the One Bout the Meteor and the Man?


So, one night last week, Jakob walked into my room.  “Here, Fadder.” He said, handing me the above picture.  I laughed to myself giving it the once over.  “Know what it is?” he asked.
Well, duh, Jakob!  It kinda looks like a meteor about to hit someone.  Duuuuuhhhhhhh!   

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Completely Random Photo of the Immediate Future

Hi!  Ghosts and aliens aren’t the only things watchin' when you touch your naughty bits!  I do too!  Tee hee!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Do Me a Solid, Don't...See The Beginners

So…can we all just agree that movies suck anymore?  To totally discredit everything I’m about to say, I admit I don’t know the first thing about making movies.  What it takes, the amount of time, money, effort, etc that’s poured into getting a movie produced. Just like pimpin’, I’m sure it ain’t easy.   

Friday, January 13, 2012

Planet of the Jakes: Meet Nolan. And Colan. PT 2

Catch up on the zaniness here
From over the kitchen countertop, I watched the top of a yellowhead walk back downstairs and through the living room.  “S’up Nol…whoa!!!”  I said with a bit of a shock, as Nolan/Jakob walked into the kitchen.
Nolan/Jakob now had a brown mustache in the place of the blonde mustache that was peeling off his face only moments before.  The yellowheaded kid standing there looked at me as if I was insane.  “I’m not Nolan.”

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Completely Random Photo of the Immediate Future


Well?  Just how long HAVE you been standing there????  Don’t remember?  Then I wouldn’t look up right now, if I were you…

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Song of the Immediate Future: Take Off

Alright.  This is gonna be my last reference to Christmas 2011.  Last one, I swear!  After this, I’m done.  We’ll close the books on Christmas once and for all!  Besides, it’s only a passing reference.  So don’t get your silky, sexy, black panties in a knot, ok?

Friday, January 6, 2012

Tales of Christmases (recently) past

A few weeks before Christmas, the crew and I were sitting around the kitchen table, eating dinner.  The thing about dinner at our house is that there’s no TV, phone calls or texting (Which is a real pain in the ass for me.  Cause god forbid I get a text or 4 from Kelly Marie.  I NEVER hear the end of it from the peanut gallery.  “No texting at dinner, Fadddderrrrrrrrrr!” Blah, blah, blah.  Stupid kids.  There’s a reason why we have double standards in this country.  So people like me can have our way and everyone else follows the rules!), so we have to sit around and actually talk to each other.  Most nights, though, we just either stare blankly into space, chewing our curd or stare blankly at each other.  This one particular night, I was feeling a little personable.  I guess I had the Christmas spirit (as if).

                                              “Fadder!  Jethro’s talking at me!”

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Preview:

(Which is a real pain in the ass for me.  Cause god forbid I get a text from Kelly Marie during dinner.  I NEVER hear the end of it from the peanut gallery.  “No texting at dinner, Fadddderrrrrrrrrr!” Blah, blah, blah.  Stupid kids.  There’s a reason why we have double standards in this country.  So people like me can have our way!)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Completely Random Photo of the Immediate Future

Let me ask you something…