Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Do Me a Solid, Don't...See The Beginners

So…can we all just agree that movies suck anymore?  To totally discredit everything I’m about to say, I admit I don’t know the first thing about making movies.  What it takes, the amount of time, money, effort, etc that’s poured into getting a movie produced. Just like pimpin’, I’m sure it ain’t easy.   
I’m also very much aware of the fact that movie making is a business/investment.  Studios have to create movies that make the most amount of money for the least amount of money.  Yeayeayea.  I get it. I get it.  But, when you make movies that have to appeal to the largest swath of audience, you get bland, boring and blah. Pandering to the masses, gets you countless sequels/prequels, terrible movies based on even more terrible old television shows, and stupid, pointless explosionfests (and I’m a fan of explosions.  I like my explosions like the way Jakob carries on:  the bigger, the louder…the better!).
                                       img src:  disneydreaming.com
                              Seriously.  What could possibly be untold at this point?
Case in point…superhero movies.  I’m an admitted superhero fan.  Yea, that’s right.  I’ve even got the Superman shield tattooed on my shoulder to prove it.  But, even I’m fairly sick of superhero movies (except for the Avengers coming out this summer.  I’m all hopped up on goofballs about that one.  The other superhero movies slated for this year?  Not so much.).  Redundant and boring, it's all becoming. And just how many more origin stories do we have to see?  In the 2nd decade of the 21st century, well all know how Spidey got his powers. Ok, Sony Pictures?  Enough is enough already!!!!
Oh, and while I’m being high and mighty, I might as well toss this out there, too.  3-D movies aren’t going to save the bottom line, either.  Sorry, Mr. Moviemanmaker.  Sorry.  It’s just a novelty.  A novelty that NO ONE wants to pay extra money for any more.  You can slap that 3-D moniker on any movie you want.  No one cares.
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                                  A wise man once said: Truth is truth
The only thing that’s gonna save the box office?  Are good stories (now I want you all to pay attention here, children, cause your friendly neighborhood Jman is about to dazzle you with some synergy…) like The Beginners.
                                                                        img src:  kboo.fm
                                      Holy Shit!  That's Obi Wan!
Wait.  What’s that?  Up until the Golden Globes you never even heard of the movie (and I’ll have you know, it wasn’t cause of the Golden Globes that I saw The Beginners!  Kelly Marie and I saw it last week.  Before they even invented the Golden Globes!)?  You don’t say!  Hard to believe!  But, just because you never heard it, doesn’t make it one of those “art house” movies like that excruciating vague “Tree of Life” picture.  Nononono!  It’s nothing like that.  It’s a good story, clever, funny, touching actually. Plus, there’s even a passing Superman/Lego reference in it!  So, how bad could it be? 
But, that’s exactly why I gotta say, do me a solid, don’t see The Beginners.  You’ll end up hating it, and writing all kinds of subtweets about how much of a loser I am because I have a Superman shield tattooed on my arm…


  1. Tree of Life - I never got passed the trailer! The Beginners looks good, though. And I promise, if I don't like it I won't make fun of your Superman tat...I may snicker behind your back though.

    1. hey! that's just as bad!!! snickering behind my back! what do you want from me? i was just a kid when i got that tattoo. i was only 30! :)

  2. I love superhero movies ;) Real Steel and Captain America were pretty good, but other than those, I saw a lot of doozers.

    1. I didn't see Real Steel, yet. But, Jethro's been on me about it. And Cap? Liked that one a lot. That was a lot of fun...

  3. Might not be easy but if they are going to make one they should at least make a decent one. I'm with you! Movies now are getting suckier and suckier.

    1. I'm totally with you. You know what they say..."crap in, crap out"!