Friday, March 30, 2012

Planet of the Jakes: Brian Strikes Again!

One day, not long ago (how many times can I start these stories with “the other day” or “a few nights ago”?  it ain’t very original of me.  how can I possible live up to the self appointed title “the next Mark Twain” if I keep using the same phrases over and over again?!?! ) I had to pick Jethro up early from school.  Because all my kids have passed through this elementary school, the faculty there pretty much know me by sight.  I thought about petitioning the school board to name the school after me, but…I’m not that vain.  Actually, that’s not true at all.  I am that vain.  I’m just too lazy to do it.
                                         “Bitch, please!”

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Does Technology Have a Place in School?

Today’s post, “Does Technology Have a Place in Our Schools” is over at Wanna see what you’re in for?  Of course you do!!!!
“When my daughter started 9th grade last September, her high school had a pretty strict policy on the use of technology. It was actually a “zero tolerance” policy. If a student was caught operating any kind of technology (phone, iPod, etc.) on school property during school hours, the student had to relinquish the tech to the school and the student’s parents had to come to school to sign it back out into the student’s possession. During 9th grade orientation, the principal was adamant about this policy. No ifs, ands or buts, as the saying goes.”
So, stop wasting your time here, and hit that link.  Wait.  Hold on.  You can waste all the time here you want.  Just, when you’re done, then hit that link.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

From the Archives: What is a fine powder consisting of microgametophytes?

Editor’s note:  It seemed kinda fitting to reach into the archives for this post.  Why you ask?  Well, your friendly neighborhood jman doesn’t have any new content prepared for today.  Sorry.  What can I say?  It’s been one of those…lifetimes.

And with the really nice weather from last week, all the tree and plant life decided to prematurely bloom (stupid tree and plant life), which is even more of a fitting reason to reach into the archives for this gem…

What is a fine powder consisting of microgametophytes?
Originally published on 5/2009

Maybe you’ve noticed the lack of quality content around here, lately. You’re probably wondering: “WTF!!!” Am I right? Wait.  I know.  I know.  I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking:  “He's late, again?!?  Probably giving up already.  I knew it!” Well, if that’s what you’re thinking, then nuts to you! Cause I've got a perfectly valid reason for not posting lately. You wanna know what’s up? Do you? Fine! It’s this:

Friday, March 23, 2012

Song of the Immediate Future: Love Interruption

I want love to: roll me over slowly,
Stick a knife inside me, and twist it all around.
I want love to: grab my fingers gently,
Slam them in a doorway, Put my face into the ground.
I want love to: murder my own mother,
Take her off to somewhere, like hell, or up above.
And I want love to: change my friends to enemies,
Change my friends to enemies, and show me how it's all my fault.

And I won't let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
I won't let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me
Yeah I won't let love disrupt, corrupt or interrupt me, anymore.

I want love to: walk right up and bite me,
Grab a hold of me and fight me, leave me dying on the ground.
I want love to: split my mouth wide open,
And cover up my ears and never let me hear a sound
I want love to: forget that you offended me,
Or how you have defended me when everybody talked me down
Yeah and I want love to: change my friends to enemies,
Change my friends to enemies, and show me how it's all my fault.
I’ve heard this song a few times over the last couple weeks on the college radio station I listen to.  Yes.  I’m forced to listen to college radio.  Cause radio stations suck.   But, I’m not going to start that rant here.  Again.  I brought us here together to talk about “Love Interruption.”

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Completely Random Photo of the Immediate Future

See this?  Do you see this? This is what happens to birthday cakes in our house after about a week.  We destroyed it!  You don’t ever want to mess with us.  We’ll put a hurtin’ on you like this cake!!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Do Me A Solid, Don't...see J Edgar


So…over the weekend, Kelly Marie and I watched the movie J. Edgar.  Released in 2011, it was directed by Clint Eastwood and stars Leonardo DiCapro and a bunch of other actors I may or may not have recognized.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Completely Random Photo(s) of the Immediate Future

The other day, Kelly Marie called me from Target, laughing.  She said she found these really funny cards.  She proceeded to read them to me.  I told her to buy them, right on the spot.  She thought I was nuts.  Truth be told, I am.  But, I wanted to share them with my listeners.  You guys are the best damn listeners, ever!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

My 7 Favorite Things to Say to My Kids

Friends, neighbors, internet countrymen…lend me your ears.  A few days ago, I set you up with a really funny post called:  My Kids’ 7 Favorite Things to Say” over at parentsociety.comWell, today?  Here are My 7 Favorite Things to Say to My Kids”.  Wanna lil nibble?  Ok…

As in: “Dad? Dad? Dad, Dad, Dad!” This usually comes from one or more of them while they’re by the front door. My response, when I’m usually at the farthest point in the house from the front door: “WHAT?”

Yes!  It is another countdown and it’s another slideshow!  I took it really easy on your brains this morning.  So…hit this link!!!

Bet you can’t guess what #1 is?!?!?

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

"...eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel..."

The state in which I live (The physical state, not my mental one.  We’re all best served not talking about my mental state.) recently enacted a “no texting while driving law”.  Which means, you can be pulled over and fined ($50) for texting while driving.  Admittedly, it’s probably a good idea.  We all probably shouldn’t be texting and driving at the same time.  Especially if were gonna eat, read, and watch TV while were driving.

Monday, March 12, 2012

My Kids’ 7 Favorite Things to Say

Today’s post My Kids’ 7 Favorite Things to Sayis over at parentsociety.comBecause I care about you, here’s a lil taste:

“Another of my kids’ sayings that I love to hear. What am I supposed to do when one of them says this to me? Run over to the stove and rustle up some grub? Take out my magic wand and produce the grandest buffet ever seen? Yeah, as if. Because neither of those things happens, “I’m hungry” tends to be quickly followed up by this one:”

The post is one of those top ten lists.  Minus three of course.  A "slideshow" on top of that.  It's like getting all your money back, plus shipping!  So…what are you waiting for?  Hit that link, why dontcha?!?!?

Friday, March 9, 2012

Wait. Who opened up for Van Halen???

I saw Van Halen in concert the other day with my buddy, Paco Reban.  Yea…that’s right.  Van friggin Halen.  Call me old, call them old.  I don’t care.  It’s all true.                                                                           

                      Not quite the same band I saw the other day.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Nothing's shocking...

“To me, though, the alt rock group Jane’s Addiction put it aptly, almost a quarter of a century ago: ”Nothing’s shocking.” If nothing is shocking anymore, then what? Things get more and more absurd. The more absurd they get, the more the meaning gets lost. And if things are so absurd that they have no meaning, what is there to rebel against?”
What?  You’re still here?  What are you waiting for?  Hit that link!!!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Song of the Immediate Future: Your Love

Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older

I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I ain't got many friends left to talk to
No one's around when I'm in trouble
You know I'd do anything for you
Stay the night, but keep it under cover


Try to stop my hands from shaking
Something in my mind's not making sense
It's been awhile since we've been all alone
I can't hide the way I'm feeling

As you leave me, please, won't you close the door
And don't forget what I told you
Just cause you're right, that don't mean I'm wrong
Another shoulder to cry upon

(fade chorus)

“Your Love” by the Outfield hit the airwaves back in the year of our lord, 1986.  What a great year!  Voyager 2 rendezvoused with Youranus Uranus, Pixar was founded and the 1986 World Exposition opened in Vancouver, BC (thank you, Wikipedia!).  I was 15 years old.  I was as old back then as Sarah is today.  Wow!  Man, I’m old. 

Friday, March 2, 2012

Planet of the Jakes: Good, Shy and Brian

When Jakob was little, he “supposedly” had an imaginary friend named “Good”.  I say “supposedly” cause I never met “Good”.  And, to be honest, I never saw Jakob interacting with “Good”, either.  That’s not to say I haven’t seen Jakob do some weird shit.  That kid can take a string and a piece of dirt and play.  I mean…play.  For hours.  Unlike Jethro, who if he happens to stand still for a second he’s bored.