Friday, March 9, 2012

Wait. Who opened up for Van Halen???

I saw Van Halen in concert the other day with my buddy, Paco Reban.  Yea…that’s right.  Van friggin Halen.  Call me old, call them old.  I don’t care.  It’s all true.                                                                           

                      Not quite the same band I saw the other day.

I originally saw Van Halen way back in the late 80’s with Sammy Hagar.  I was too young to see them with David Lee Roth.  Dave and the Van Halen boys broke up a little before my time.  Although, I did see Dave tour solo in about the same time period as I saw Sammy with Van Halen.  So, technically, I still didn’t see the original Van Halen (the best Van Halen) together.
Anyway….the reason I brought you here wasn’t to give you a history lesson.  It was to tell you that Kool and the Gang opened up for Van Halen.  Yea.  That’s right.  You read that right.  Kool and the Gang opened up for Van Halen.  It baffled me when I first heard it, it baffled me when Paco bought the tickets, it baffled me sitting in the arena, and yes…it still baffles me days later. 
That’s not to say Kool and the Gang put on a bad show, or that I have a problem with Kool and the Gang (other than that stupid song “Celebration”.  God I hate that song). I just don’t/didn’t get the connection.  
Now, I know you don’t believe me about them opening up, so I have visual proof for all you nonbelievers (what’s really funny about this whole thing is that this was suppose to be a “Completely Random Photo…” post.  With just a short blurb about the following pic.  But, as usual, your friendly neighborhood jman has diarrhea of the mouth fingers and has to ramble on and on.  So we got this long ass post to deal with now.  All because I had to set this stupid picture up):

I know.  I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking:  “What the hell does that prove?  It’s a terrible pic!  If that’s supposed to be a “Kool and the Gang” logo, it sure don’t look like one!  It doesn’t prove a thing!  It still doesn’t make a lick’s worth of sense for Kool and the Gang to tour with Van Halen, you lying moron!”
                                   Eat his trousers, man!
Well, now!  If that’s what you’re thinking, then nuts to you!  Cause I have additional proof!  As a wise, yellow, animated kid once said:  “Set your faces to stunned!”  Watch this and weep, sucker (just do me a solid, don’t tell Kool I posted this, k? I don’t need any kind of lawyerly trouble).
Wait.  Before I do, I just want to clarify one thing.  This is not Kool:
                                                       NOT Kool
That’s JT Taylor.  He was the leader singer of Kool and the Gang.  This is Kool:
He plays bass.  I found that out on the internets during Kool and the Gang’s set.  Thank you iPhone, Verizon, Wikipedia and the big guy too for letting the super genius invent all that shit so I could find out that JT wasn’t in the band anymore! 
Now, watch the footage and prepare to weep!!!
                I can’t tell you how much I fucking HATE “Celebration”, too!

Told ya!  Now, which of you is gonna explain all this to me?


  1. I have no explanation for you - I am just as perplexed. But listening to that clip of Celebration may have traumatized my whole day...

    1. i can not tell you how much i do not like that song. i don't like it almost as much as i don't like "american pie". and i REALLY do not like that song!!!

  2. I love that song! Probably because I used to ROLLER SKATE to that song in the 80s. I had no idea that was Kool and the Gang. I only know Kool and the Gang because they sang a song with my real name in it. And my mother bought it. And I thought that was the coolest thing ever. Because in the 80s, I was very uncool, I had no idea Kool was a person. I never knew they were black. And I never knew that they sang Celebration. It's all about Celebrating-DUH. And having a good time. Don 't you want to go have a party when you hear it? I know I do!

    van Halen, on the other hand, I can't tell you anything about them. As I said, I was very uncool in the 80s. I'm probably not any cooler now. But at least now I know van Halen is a band and not some guy form some war in history.

    1. LOL!!! Don't bout being "uncool" in the 80's. I'm as uncool as I've ever been!

      You can like "Celebration" if you must, but don't let anyone know I told you it was ok to like. All the complaining I've done over the years about that song, I'll never hear the end of it! :)