Friday, April 27, 2012


Let me first start off by saying, this isn’t the movie review I’ve been promising for almost three weeks now.  Oh, I’m still “working” on that one.  Meaning, it’s floating around in my head somewhere.  I just haven’t had the chance to put the words to computer yet.  I was going to, though. I swear.  You’d be reading about GREEN LANTERN right now, if it weren’t for the travesty of a movie called SOMETHING BORROWED.

I had considered doing a “7 Words or Less” about SOMETHING BORROWED.  But, as it turns out, I had just too much to say about it.  It wasn’t like the movie was horrible (yea…it was).  It’s just irritating me on so many levels.
                                            Darcy (left) and Rachel
The movie’s about two lifelong best friends, one turning 30 (Rachel), the other (Darcy) on the verge of getting married.  The twist is that the groom to be (Dex) and Rachel after years of “platonic” friendship, admit they love each other mere months before Dex and Darcy’s wedding.  Jocularity ensues.  Following me? Keep up, cause I ain’t repeating myself here.
Ok.  First of all, this Darcy character?  She’s flipping annoying.  Obnoxious, really.  She’s a late twentysomething who hasn’t quite let go of her partying ways.  Actually, she acts like she’s still in high school.  She’s really overbearing, obnoxious (did i mention she's obnoxious), annoying, and not very bright, living on the pretense she’s “fun”.  The only thing fun about her, is when she’s not around.

I bring the “not very bright” part, because Darcy “supposedly” got accepted into Notre Dame, when she was of the college shopping age, and Rachel (now a lawyer), jealously believed her.  For all those years.  Now, look.  I know it’s a movie.  And we’re supposed to suspend our disbelief and all, but it’s plain ridiculous.  Saying this character got into Notre Dame (which turns out she probably didn’t) had no bearing on the movie, anyway.  Darcy admits a number of times that she’s not good at this or that.  So why do it?  Why mention Notre Dame at all?  Hmmmm…

Product placement?  Now, I’m not certain who had the most products in the movie.  I’m pretty sure it was Heineken.   Or Jack Daniels.  Could’ve been Sprint.  Or was it Land Rover?  I don’t know.  I don’t have the tally. But, speaking of obnoxious, it was.  Nothing like a good 3 second scene involving cases of Heineken getting passed around.

                      Now I just wait for the checks to start rolling in...
That’s all pretty annoying.  Here’s the part that really bugs the shit out of me, though.  The ending.  I’m still annoyed about this ending.  Cause, it turns out that while Rachel and Dex have been fooling around on the side, so has Darcy.  At least as long as Rachel and Dex have been.  I say “at least” cause I’d be willing to wager dollars to donuts, this broad has been fooling around on Dex for a long time.  A very long time. 
                                                            Rachel (right) and Dex.
I know.  I know.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  Dex eventually calls off the wedding.  In need of “consolation” Darcy goes to her BFF, Rachel.  Where she admits to Rachel that not only has she been fooling around on her betrothed, but she’s also pregnant.  With the other guy’s baby. 
Here’s where I get annoyed.  Darcy leaves Rachel’s apartment, but spots Dex’s jacket on a chair.  Darcy proceeds to have the royalist of shitfits on Rachel.  Saying she hates her, blah, blah, blah.  Over and over again.  And Rachel just stands there and takes it.  I know this is part of her character, yielding to Darcy’s overbearing will, but c’mon!  At best, in the game of life, Darcy and Rachel were both wrong.  Of the two, Darcy being wronger!  Who the hell is Darcy to act all hurt and betrayed?!?!
The thing is, I can’t believe I just spent +600 words writing about this stupid, stupid movie…
                              Your friendly neighborhood jman


  1. Hey, thanks for spoiling the!! Seriously, I about gagged over the trailer for this I know why!

    1. Crap! I didn't think about giving a spoiler warning! I guess I should've. Oh, well.

      Oh. And, hey. Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father!

  2. You told us the whole story sorta... but what about the ending ? Wedding bells for someone at-least ? If you don't want to give that away, No worries! will prolly watch it sometime with DH.

    1. Boy! I really made a mess of this movie review, didn't I?!?! I guess it's a good thing I don't get paid to write these things. :)